If Jodi Arias had only received help when she was young.

   She perhaps wouldn't have killed Travis Alexander. So many parents don't get their children the help they need because they are afraid it will be a negative reflection on them. They don't want family and friends to think they did something wrong in their parenting. They feel guilty, they feel responsible for their child's mental state and behavior. I say, forget all of that. Get your child the help they need. Do the right thing because if you don't, they could later in life murder someone just as Jodi Arias has done. Isn't that far worse?

   When you decide to have a child, the moment they are born, they need to become your priority. Not just their physical health but their mental health as well. If you have that nagging feeling inside, something is wrong with your child, you can bet something is wrong. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to seek a professional who is trained in this field. You will respect yourself, and your child will have a chance to live a better life; you might be responsible for saving a life in the future. Mental illness isn't anyone's choice. If they have a mental illness, their world is different from yours and mine. Their reality is not a normal reality. Give them a chance to live a happy productive life by getting them therapy. Be selfless, if you know someone with a disturbed child, approach them and encourage them to do the right thing and get that child professional help.
   You can't sweep mental illness under the rug because eventually you will trip over that bulge in the rug.

Think about our children.

Children are vulnerable, trusting, and forgiving. We can choose not to have them but, if we do, lets put their health, happiness, and welfare first.
 If you think walking in your shoes is difficult, try walking in someone else's shoes; especially those you tend to judge.

My heart goes out to all the people;

who relocate to the United States wanting a better life for themselves and their families. Whoever, put bombs on the streets in Boston are not these wonderful people I speak of.
   They are people I frankly don't understand. If they hate the US and all it stands for, why not just stay in their own country?
  We open our borders to these evil people, we educate them, embrace them and they want to kill innocent people, both adults and innocent children who will are now robbed of their life.
   It's not uncommon for some family members of these perpetrators to be in denial, just as I have some family members who are in denial of my telling about what happened in our family when I wrote, "A Child has No Voice."  It's easier for some to deny the truth, then to face the truth. It's easier to want to silence the messenger, than to accept the truth.

After the first abuse.

   After the first abuse, a child develops an instinct, one in which they didn't have or need to have before the first abuse occurred. So when the second sexual abuse is about to happen, their instincts kick in. They can get a feeling in the pit of their stomach that yells at them, something isn't right and is about to happen. They feel trapped. They feel anxiety, they can sweat, feel sick to their stomach, feel helpless, and they feel an overwhelming fear.
   This is when the predator makes their move. They sense that fear in a child. Empower your child by letting them know they can tell you anything. When you do this you take away the power from the predator.

Watch your child and know where they are at all times. Don't be too trusting with relatives and listen to those instincts God gives you. They mean something and they are gift.

Happy Easter everyone.
Linda Ann

We were taught not to air our dirty linen.

  My linen was aways wet so it needed to be aired. On a more serious note, I'm sure reading the truth in my book, "A Child Has No Voice" does anger or hurt some relatives. Back then years ago, things were very different.
  Children were to be seen and not heard. I wish I had a nickle for every time I heard that saying. One didn't talk about the family secrets like alcoholism or child sexual abuse. They denied any acknowledgement of family members having these problems and let's face it, if they acknowledged the problems they would have to stop having all those family parties where  excessive drinking and bad behavior was the norm, or confront the predator. Back then no one had the courage to do that. Some relatives are stuck in time. They are more comfortable not speaking the truth, that way they can pretend it never happened.
   It is so common for relatives of the abused to say you are lying,  and that the abuse never happened.  I looked around the room when I was being sexually abused and I never saw their faces. No one was their to help me or my sister. I prayed someone would walk in and stop the abuse, but no one came into the room. I think because they were as scared as I was and because they weren't brave enough to take any action against the abuser. Everyone was afraid of him, he was very intimidating.
   Those who are in denial can only focus on one thing,  their denial.
Children who were and are being sexually abused have a right to speak up, and speak out about what happened to them. I was fully prepared for the hate mail I would get from a relative or two when I wrote my true story of what happened to me and my sister when we were children. When you are on the side of truth, the hate mail doesn't matter. When you risk putting yourself out there so you can hopefully make a difference and help others who are or have been through the same thing, you know it's the right thing to do.
   People typically don't lie about being sexually abused as a child. People do typically lie about how many pounds they weigh, their age, or who ate the last cookie on the plate.
   I hope everyone who has been sexually abused as a child will tell their story. It will help you heal and will help others who are in the same kind of pain. Don't worry about the haters, concentrate on helping others who are hurting from sexual abuse. You won't be able to help all 60 million  survivors of sexual abuse in America but you will help some of those survivors and that's all we can hope for.

  Like Dr. Phil says " You can't change what you don't acknowledge." I thought about that statement a great deal while writing my book and I hope you will apply his statement to your life as well.
 
 
  
 

I changed their names.

   My aunt went to Amazon.com and left a negative review after reading a few pages of my book. She said I wrote this book for monetary gain. Really? I'm giving 50 % of the net proceeds to Charities to help sexually abused children. When they found out I was writing my book, some even threatened me.  My mother was alive at that time and I asked her what I should do. She said write your book and don't let them bully you, and so I did.  My aunt called me a liar and said the abuse never happened.. She  was no where around when I was being abused by her older, married half brother.      
This is typical of what dysfunctional family members do when the truth is told. They deny everything and call the one that was abused a liar. Why? because it's too horrible for them to comprehend. The extended family I grew up in covered for each other.
    They want to pretend their parents were wonderful even though they were alcoholics that beat the crap out of each other frequently. I saw this first hand as I was growing up. My aunt wants me to feel guilty about  writing a tell all book but you see I didn't tell all, nor would I. I wrote my story and about my parents.
    There was plenty I could have written about my aunts but didn't  because their stories were too horrible, and I didn't think their stories were something I should write about. If they wanted to tell their story, it was up to them to write their own book.

   So to the victims of child sexual abuse, this is just another hurtful but expected victimization you will probably experience if you dare tell the truth about what happened to you as a child. Expect it, dust yourself off and move on. You don't need people like this in your life who want you to lie and pretend the abuse never happened. Be strong, you have every right to tell your story.
  

You are invited to my twitter site.

You can visit me on twitter Linda Ann @nochoicenovoice